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A Good Man Done Wrong?

To the Editor:
In his [8/03] response to the frustratingly accurate depiction by Felicia Hodges [“The Child Support System: Tangled Beyond Repair?” 7/03] of the inadequacies of our child support collection system, Tom Allen positioned himself as “the good man” who makes his payments, but gave himself away when he complained that his “hard-earned money” was going “mostly for the entertainment of the mother.”

Yes, I get your drift, Tom. I have heard this and worse from other noncustodial parents who resent that their payments improve the quality of life of the ex by helping support their children. This control issue is exactly what causes many of the problems highlighted in Ms. Hodges’ article.

Your hard-earned money, Tom, pays a share of the overhead expenses incurred by your family. Whether any is left over for discretionary purposes (for either of you) is beside the point. While you have been rising to the role of a real dad by actively caring for your kids, the “good man” would also understand that child support properly liberates the mother not only to live without fear of homelessness, but to use a portion of her own hard-earned money for a retirement account, services to ease her workload, therapy, classes, hobbies, clothing, dining out, etc. These “entertainments” add up to a more secure, well-adjusted mom, the kind who would raise more secure, well-adjusted kids.

—Barbara Jean Briskey, Clermont
(CUSTODIAL PARENT SINCE 1992, SUPPORT COLLECTION SURVIVOR 1992–1996)

Thunder in the Mountains

To the Editor:
I found Steve Thader’s warped assessment [“You Don’t Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Bomb Blows,” 8/03] of the Weathermen highly disturbing. To glorify this band of thugs and terrorists and attempt to make these cowards into heroic icons is even more shameful on his part.

By Mr. Thader’s own admission, they did plan to kill people at a non-commissioned officers dance at Fort Dix; so much for pacifism. To call bombing an art form is even more ludicrous.

Mr. Thader should take a long look into his mirror; what he’ll see is a hypocrite who believes he can violently convince others that peace is the only way. By the way, Steve, that’s thunder in the mountains, not bombs!

—Tom Dinchuk, New Paltz

Crossing the Abyss

To the Editor:
In his nearly comprehensive and rather self-righteous rant against modern life, Dr. Trevor Turner [“Malignant Self-Actualization Syndrome,” 8/03] makes some valid points. However, the list of things of which he disapproves—television, the Internet, people living alone, unmarried couples living together, people who don't have children—ultimately seems like a plea to return to the 19th century. Turner, though he sounds more like a communitarian (who, as far as I can tell, don't have a very coherent philosophy but are very vocal about condemning lots of things) than an evangelist, actually has much in common with the Pat Robertson–type fundamentalists who censure everyone from their pulpits. It is very easy nowadays to look at our confused (and possibly doomed) civilization, compare it to simpler eras where everyone knew their place, and conclude that the solution is to turn back the clock. In my opinion, this is neither possible nor desirable. As misguided and often tragic as our admittedly selfish and superficial society often is, I suspect that it's all part of our psychological and spiritual education. There is quite a bit of wisdom in the existentialist view of human beings as essentially lonely, unformed creatures who must find freedom by creating themselves in a chaotic universe. Familiar social, cultural, and political structures provide the illusion of security but they are as ephemeral as our lives. It may be tempting to take away our freedom (which is often squandered), rail against the usual culprits (selfishness, television, drugs, the breakdown of the family) and try to recapture a romanticized vision of the past, but it won't help. Both individually and as a culture, the abyss must be crossed.

—Lleu Christopher, Rosendale