Random Readings, Part 1

Kama Sutra by Vatsyayana

by Brian K. Mahoney, December 29, 2006

The Fat & the Skinny was the name of a column I wrote for Chronogram for a couple years in the late '90s, a motley collection of memoir, satire, and first-person reportage. The title is reprised here for this blog, which will incorporate the above elements with other ephemera, foolishness, and lampooning of outrages on our collective psyche. A recurring posting theme in this blog will be "Random Readings"--excerpts from books that have recently crossed my reading path. I hope, in the main, to let the books speak for themselves without much in the way of introduction. The first installment is from a simple volume--a grubby brown hardback without illustration and stained by a coffee-ring--without preamble or any identifying text about the translator, I found in the bathroom of the office here at Luminary Publishing. The books offers invaluable advice on the relations of the sexes. Kama Sutra: The Hindu Ritual of Love by Vatsyayana, Castle Books, 1963 Excerpted from Part 6 (“Courtesans & Prostitutes”) and Chapter 3 (“On the Courtesan who lives as a ‘Wife’ with a Man”)

"When a courtesan decides to live with a man as if she were his wife, she must be chaste and faithful and satisfy him in every way. In other words, her duty must be to please him both physically and spiritually, but she must never become truly attached to him, even though she may pretend to be entirely devoted to him alone.

Here are the ways a young courtesan can secure the love and respect of her lover:

She will express her surprise and admiration for the method of lovemaking he has just shown her, and she should always show her respect for his adroitness in love.

If he sneezes, she must instantly wish him a long life, and she shall pretend to be ill or desire to become pregnant when she feels bored. She shall never praise any other man and will also never criticize anyone who possesses the same defects as her lover.

When he is ill, she will not eat, but sit beside him, consoling him, and sharing his suffering. And she shall insist on accompanying him if he leaves the country of his own accord or if he is banished by the King. She must constantly tell him that is she is to be separated from him she does not wish to live, and that the unique object and aim of her life is to be united to him.

The perfect mistress should regulate her life in accordance with her lover’s tastes and habits. She should never indulge in sorcery.

If her mother tries to restrain her and limit her visits to her lover or attempts to wrest her away from him by force, she should fight with her, threaten to kill herself with some sharp instrument, hang herself, or go on a hunger strike."